A few stories came my way via email:
The First …
Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten Engineers and one Geologist. Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the Geologist said he would let go of the rope since Geologists are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the Engineers began to clap…
Moral: Never underestimate the powers of a Geologist.
The Second …
A group of Engineers and a group of Geologists take a train to a conference. Each Engineer holds a ticket. But the entire group of Geologists has bought only one ticket. The Engineers are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant Geologists will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the Geologists calls out: “The conductor is coming!” At once, all the Geologists jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the Engineers. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the Geologists slides the single ticket under the door and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the Engineers decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the Geologists didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the Geologists announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the Engineers race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the Geologists leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last Geologist enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the Engineers and says: “Ticket, please!”
And the moral of the story? Engineers like to use the methods of the Geologist, but they don’t really understand them.
The third …
Once upon a time three Engineers were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. They desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first Engineer knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! “
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times. BUT: he was successful!
The second Engineer, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
The third Engineer who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the Engineer into a Geologist. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
Note: these are old jokes, possibly originating in the military. One version, in which the engineers are the good guys, can be seen here.
Showing posts with label engineers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label engineers. Show all posts
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
RE: More on Geologists
Subject: Fw: Geologist Monkeys
(Another ridiculous/funny/haha/you-choose-the-word email.)
(Another ridiculous/funny/haha/you-choose-the-word email.)
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a Geologist monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey is a GIT - Geologist In Training - it can lick rocks and tell you the exact mineralogy, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a P.Geo - a Professional Geologist - is can log drill holes, update and construct geological models, they are experts in igneous and metamorphic petrology and petrography, hydrogeology, sedimentology and structural geology. SOME can even do basic calculations. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an Engineer."
UPDATE: Dinochick has much better graphics on this one over at her site!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Star Trek TOS: The Devil in the Dark
Accretionary Wedge #7; Geology/Geologists in the MoviesHosted by Tuff Cookie at Magma Cum Laude.
I enjoy the occasional disaster flick, most of which have geological backgrounds or orientations, even if they don’t have any geologists in them. I wanted to go back a little farther, though, than the fairly recent Dante’s Peak, Armageddon, or Deep Impact (all of which, especially the first two, have geological problems in them but were, nevertheless, enjoyable in my opinion). So I’ve chosen the somewhat geological Star Trek TOS (The Original Series), Season 1, Episode 26: The Devil in the Dark.
The episode is about mining and a mining colony, and it refers to the classic though trite antagonism between geologists and engineers. Devil in the Dark introduces a new, silicon-based life form, a life form somewhat rock-like in appearance and composition, and therefore to be admired, in this geologist's opinion.
The Starship Enterprise goes to the pergium mining colony on planet Janus VI because an unknown monster or creature has been destroying equipment and killing the underground miners. Janus VI, BTW, also contains abundant reserves of uranium, cerium, and platinum, elements which I am somewhat more familiar with. I don’t really know where pergium fits on the Periodic Table of Elements . For more details about the episode, an Excruciatingly Detailed Plot Summary, by Eric W. Weisstein, is available.
The reason I remember this episode so well (besides seeing it numerous times) is that it introduces a non-carbon-based life form, the Horta, which turns out to be sentient and intelligent. The Horta is a silicon-based, rock-like entity made of a material similar to asbestos. It can tunnel through rocks using heat and acid (possibly that’s why an asbestos-like substance was thought by the writers to be necessary), which it somehow generates by consuming rocks as its source of “food.” At the time—the episode first aired on March 9, 1967 when I was 14 years old—I found it “fascinating” to imagine a silicon-based lifeform. Since that time, I have incorrectly remembered the Horta as a silica-based, quartz-like lifeform, rather than an asbestos-like lifeform, perhaps the result of bad memory. The Horta reproduces by laying roundish, silicon-based eggs (possibly made of raw silicon or silica, but looking a lot like brown balloons). It has killed, trying to protect its eggs from a bunch of obnoxious (to it) offworld, Federation miners.
The geology (or mineralogy?) is probably far-fetched—as is space travel with our given physics and engineering limitations, but interesting nonetheless. Mineralogically speaking, I’m not sure what form of “asbestos” would be more likely to be a good base or substance for life. Perhaps some mineralogists could comment on this issue.
In the episode, Spock behaves somewhat like a geologist (after all, he is usually the one with the all-element-reading tricorder). He is therefore (like any real geologist) the first one that can actually relate to this rock-like being. Like a stereo-typical geologist, Spock relates better to rocks than he does to people, and in this episode he relates better to the Horta than he does to most, well – humans (they are so illogical). In fact, he relates so well to the rock entity, that he is able to mind meld with it, an experience similar to what some geologists undertake when out in the field trying to figure out the geology of a particular field area.
As usual, there is tension between the logical Spock and the emotional Doctor McCoy. In addition, there is the stereotypical tension (and even animosity) between the mining engineers or mine managers of Janus VI and the explorationists of the Starship Enterprise. In this case, the explorationists aren’t really geologists, but they serve that purpose as far as the mining v. exploration tension goes. In the photo , Captain Kirk points a phaser at the Horta.
A few good quotes come from the episode, some of which might only be of interesting to other Star Trekkians (Trekkers, not Trekkies, as far as I’m concerned). The first relates directly to the rift between an engineer v. geologist perspective:
The Starship Enterprise goes to the pergium mining colony on planet Janus VI because an unknown monster or creature has been destroying equipment and killing the underground miners. Janus VI, BTW, also contains abundant reserves of uranium, cerium, and platinum, elements which I am somewhat more familiar with. I don’t really know where pergium fits on the Periodic Table of Elements . For more details about the episode, an Excruciatingly Detailed Plot Summary, by Eric W. Weisstein, is available.
The reason I remember this episode so well (besides seeing it numerous times) is that it introduces a non-carbon-based life form, the Horta, which turns out to be sentient and intelligent. The Horta is a silicon-based, rock-like entity made of a material similar to asbestos. It can tunnel through rocks using heat and acid (possibly that’s why an asbestos-like substance was thought by the writers to be necessary), which it somehow generates by consuming rocks as its source of “food.” At the time—the episode first aired on March 9, 1967 when I was 14 years old—I found it “fascinating” to imagine a silicon-based lifeform. Since that time, I have incorrectly remembered the Horta as a silica-based, quartz-like lifeform, rather than an asbestos-like lifeform, perhaps the result of bad memory. The Horta reproduces by laying roundish, silicon-based eggs (possibly made of raw silicon or silica, but looking a lot like brown balloons). It has killed, trying to protect its eggs from a bunch of obnoxious (to it) offworld, Federation miners.
The geology (or mineralogy?) is probably far-fetched—as is space travel with our given physics and engineering limitations, but interesting nonetheless. Mineralogically speaking, I’m not sure what form of “asbestos” would be more likely to be a good base or substance for life. Perhaps some mineralogists could comment on this issue.
In the episode, Spock behaves somewhat like a geologist (after all, he is usually the one with the all-element-reading tricorder). He is therefore (like any real geologist) the first one that can actually relate to this rock-like being. Like a stereo-typical geologist, Spock relates better to rocks than he does to people, and in this episode he relates better to the Horta than he does to most, well – humans (they are so illogical). In fact, he relates so well to the rock entity, that he is able to mind meld with it, an experience similar to what some geologists undertake when out in the field trying to figure out the geology of a particular field area.
As usual, there is tension between the logical Spock and the emotional Doctor McCoy. In addition, there is the stereotypical tension (and even animosity) between the mining engineers or mine managers of Janus VI and the explorationists of the Starship Enterprise. In this case, the explorationists aren’t really geologists, but they serve that purpose as far as the mining v. exploration tension goes. In the photo , Captain Kirk points a phaser at the Horta.
A few good quotes come from the episode, some of which might only be of interesting to other Star Trekkians (Trekkers, not Trekkies, as far as I’m concerned). The first relates directly to the rift between an engineer v. geologist perspective:
Chief Engineer Vanderberg: Look, we didn't call you here so you could collect rocks!
The second brings out Doctor McCoy’s bedside manner while trying to heal wounded rock-like beings:
Spock: The odds against both of us being killed are 2,228.7 to 1.Kirk: 2,228.7 to 1? Those are pretty good odds, Mr. Spock.Spock: And they are of course accurate.Kirk: Of course. Well, I hate to use the word, but, logically with those kinds of odds you might as well stay. But please stay out of trouble, Mr. Spock.Spock: That is always my intention, Captain.
Kirk: Think she'll go for it? [A proposed truce between Horta and miners.]Spock: It seems logical, Captain. The Horta has a very logical mind. And after close association with humans, I find that curiously refreshing.Spock: Curious. What Chief Vanderberg said about the Horta is exactly what the Mother Horta said to me. She found humanoid appearance revolting, but she thought she could get used to it.McCoy: Oh, she did, did she? Now tell me--did she happen to
make any comment about those ears?Spock: Not specifically. But I did get the distinct impression she found them the most attractive human characteristic of all. I didn't have the heart to tell her that only I have...Kirk: She really liked those ears?Spock: Captain, the Horta is a remarkably intelligent and sensitive creature with impeccable taste.Kirk: Because she approved of you.Spock: Really, Captain, my modesty...Kirk: Does not bear close examination, Mr. Spock. I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.Spock: Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.
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