My blog posting has been going rather slowly these days, compared to an average of about one-per day back in January. I'm going to blame that on micro-blogging, at least for now. And what are the effects?
Well, check this out! When I had this website evaluated by stimater.com in early February, it was worth $25,401!
I just had it re-valued, and it's only worth $266 today. :(
The lesson here? Buy this site now before the price goes back up!
First seen at Oustside the Interzone back in February.
Warning, I had to do fairly major html changes to make their little badge thingy work properly.
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Geologists and Engineers
A few stories came my way via email:
The First …
Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten Engineers and one Geologist. Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the Geologist said he would let go of the rope since Geologists are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the Engineers began to clap…
Moral: Never underestimate the powers of a Geologist.
The Second …
A group of Engineers and a group of Geologists take a train to a conference. Each Engineer holds a ticket. But the entire group of Geologists has bought only one ticket. The Engineers are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant Geologists will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the Geologists calls out: “The conductor is coming!” At once, all the Geologists jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the Engineers. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the Geologists slides the single ticket under the door and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the Engineers decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the Geologists didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the Geologists announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the Engineers race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the Geologists leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last Geologist enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the Engineers and says: “Ticket, please!”
And the moral of the story? Engineers like to use the methods of the Geologist, but they don’t really understand them.
The third …
Once upon a time three Engineers were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. They desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first Engineer knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! “
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times. BUT: he was successful!
The second Engineer, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
The third Engineer who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the Engineer into a Geologist. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
Note: these are old jokes, possibly originating in the military. One version, in which the engineers are the good guys, can be seen here.
The First …
Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten Engineers and one Geologist. Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the Geologist said he would let go of the rope since Geologists are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the Engineers began to clap…
Moral: Never underestimate the powers of a Geologist.
The Second …
A group of Engineers and a group of Geologists take a train to a conference. Each Engineer holds a ticket. But the entire group of Geologists has bought only one ticket. The Engineers are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant Geologists will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the Geologists calls out: “The conductor is coming!” At once, all the Geologists jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the Engineers. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the Geologists slides the single ticket under the door and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the Engineers decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the Geologists didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the Geologists announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the Engineers race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the Geologists leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last Geologist enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the Engineers and says: “Ticket, please!”
And the moral of the story? Engineers like to use the methods of the Geologist, but they don’t really understand them.
The third …
Once upon a time three Engineers were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. They desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first Engineer knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! “
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times. BUT: he was successful!
The second Engineer, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
The third Engineer who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”
*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*
The Lord converted the Engineer into a Geologist. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
Note: these are old jokes, possibly originating in the military. One version, in which the engineers are the good guys, can be seen here.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I'm a Doer?
What am I doing?
This little personality quiz, based on the writing on one's blog or website, was pointed out recently by Suvrat at Reporting on a Revolution. The website analyzer can be found here. The analysis is based on the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test or the Keirsey Sorter. I'm supposed to come out INFP, but my blog comes out ESTP. (Actually, since the first time I took the assessment in the early 1990's, I have come out all over the place, apparently depending on my mood or something like that.)
This little personality quiz, based on the writing on one's blog or website, was pointed out recently by Suvrat at Reporting on a Revolution. The website analyzer can be found here. The analysis is based on the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator test or the Keirsey Sorter. I'm supposed to come out INFP, but my blog comes out ESTP. (Actually, since the first time I took the assessment in the early 1990's, I have come out all over the place, apparently depending on my mood or something like that.)
ESTP: the active and playful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities. The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.As I write this, I'm not feeling particularly active or playful, and am not full of energy. I probably am overly attuned to people, although that doesn't always help me do or say the right thing. I do occasionally work outdoors (surprise, I'm a geologist!). I almost always spell occasionally wrong, but that apparently isn't part of the test. I don't know if the test would give different results for different posts, or if it's just set up for a whole website. I will warn you that they save your site and results, although I can't really think why, unless they really think their analysis means something.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Darn It!
I'm just not up to snuff on the cuss-o-meter. Darn!
Seen today at The Ethical Paleontologist.UPDATE 2022: Entirely dead links
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Survivor is a Meme?
It seems that the email I posted about yesterday, which came from the Uncyclopedia, has been cited in several blogs, sometimes as thought it's reality (or a silent spoof?). Here are a few:
Isaac at Think Deviant, March 8, 2008.
John Wilkins at Evolving Thoughts, March 7, 2008.
Chris Keating at Tales from the Travels, February 28, 2008.
This post at jetxt.de, February 27, 2008.
Steph Stockman at Geosteph, September 4, 2007.
So, this is nothing new - been going around awhile like a bad winter bug.
Isaac at Think Deviant, March 8, 2008.
John Wilkins at Evolving Thoughts, March 7, 2008.
Chris Keating at Tales from the Travels, February 28, 2008.
This post at jetxt.de, February 27, 2008.
Steph Stockman at Geosteph, September 4, 2007.
So, this is nothing new - been going around awhile like a bad winter bug.
RE: More on Geologists
Subject: Fw: Geologist Monkeys
(Another ridiculous/funny/haha/you-choose-the-word email.)
(Another ridiculous/funny/haha/you-choose-the-word email.)
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a Geologist monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000."
The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey is a GIT - Geologist In Training - it can lick rocks and tell you the exact mineralogy, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a P.Geo - a Professional Geologist - is can log drill holes, update and construct geological models, they are experts in igneous and metamorphic petrology and petrography, hydrogeology, sedimentology and structural geology. SOME can even do basic calculations. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an Engineer."
UPDATE: Dinochick has much better graphics on this one over at her site!
Monday, March 24, 2008
A New Geologist Survivor TV Show
Well, not really.... There is, once again, an email going around to various geological types (this is the second time I've seen it) which refers to Uncyclopedia's take on Geologists. The email circulating now, describes a 'geologist survivor-type' show, supposedly being considered by CBS in 2008 (reality TV?).
Does the above sound at all familiar? I'm reminded of certain Death-Defying Geologists and their lava photos! The reality-TV-type testing goes on, with the geologists just not being able to leave or be voted off the show.
Congratulations to certain geoblogosherians who have recently completed such research-type papers (and sorry if I've left some of us out!). As you can see above, geologists are simply not well suited to reality TV, since they (we) have their own way of doing things. The second event that is designed to get rid of some geologists takes place in Alaska.
As you can see, geologists are simply not suited for reality shows, living as they (we) do in their (our) own reality. The rest of the article entitled "Geologist" is also interesting (although some parts are more humorous than other parts), and it includes a section about "Geologists in the Movies." Sound familiar? And more:
How to spot a Geologist
To spot a geologist in the wild, look for:
They were successful in finding nine geologists, 6 males and three females, between 25 and 50 years of age, and they quickly set up the first challenge; researching an active volcano in the Phillipines. The geologists and camera crew set up camp near the bottom of the volcano. The camera crew filmed the nine geologists bonding. The geologists were supplied with alchohol (a common strategy to loosen up the cast in reality TV), but the camera crew was surprised to notice that even after drinking gallons of the liquid, the geologists did not change their behavior, and continued talking in an obscure jargonized language about 'bombs', 'breccia,' and 'lahars,' none of which made for good reality TV.
Does the above sound at all familiar? I'm reminded of certain Death-Defying Geologists and their lava photos! The reality-TV-type testing goes on, with the geologists just not being able to leave or be voted off the show.
Finally, few of the scientists [geologists] seemed to understand the concept of 'voting off' another member. After consulting a nearby university, the crew finally explained that the geologists were 'competing for a GSA research grant.' This didn't go well either, as the geologists pointed out that they didn't have the time to write a research paper. Finally, they were simply told to get rid of someone on some sort of criteria. After a council, the geologists decided that whoever had the worst aim with a rock hammer would be told to leave.
Congratulations to certain geoblogosherians who have recently completed such research-type papers (and sorry if I've left some of us out!). As you can see above, geologists are simply not well suited to reality TV, since they (we) have their own way of doing things. The second event that is designed to get rid of some geologists takes place in Alaska.
The second event, landing in a bush plane in upper Alaska, was a complete failure. None of the geologists were nervous at the idea, which destroyed the drama the crew was hoping for, and worse yet, no-one in the production crew was willing to accompany the geologists to the site, out of sheer terror. The result was that small cameras were given to two of the geologists to film themselves. When the footage and geologists returned, the editors found tapes filled with footage and commentary about mountains and 'glacial erratics'. Only ten percent of the footage featured humans, and most of that footage was simply the petrologist standing by outcrops for scale.
By the time the production reached Hawaii, most of the camera-crew had quit (because of the steady diet of chili and the dangerous situations), and only five of the geologists were left; not because they had been voted off, but because they had been over-excited by rock formations at various locations and had refused to leave. Moreover, paying for an almost-constant supply of beer and transportation of the geologists' luggage (which mainly consisted of rock samples and unmentionably dilapidated field clothing), had almost exhausted the budget. CBS finally pulled the plug on the project in January of 2008, despite their fear that they might be sued for withdrawing the promise of a prize; however, none of the geologists sued, as they were still under the impression that they needed to publish a research paper to receive the money.
As you can see, geologists are simply not suited for reality shows, living as they (we) do in their (our) own reality. The rest of the article entitled "Geologist" is also interesting (although some parts are more humorous than other parts), and it includes a section about "Geologists in the Movies." Sound familiar? And more:
How to spot a Geologist
To spot a geologist in the wild, look for:
- Hand-lens, compass, pen-knife, handcuffs etc. tied round neck with string. ...
- When helping someone move and you ask "is this box full of rocks?" They answer "yes, be careful."
If you remain unsure, ask the subject to draw an annotated diagram of a trilobite. A true geologist will immediately reach for their waterproof notebook - this is your opportunity for escape.
And so it goes...UPDATE: This part of the Unclyclopedia article on geologists has apparently now made it into hard print - see Highly Allochthonous for links.
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